and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
