new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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