Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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