Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
