Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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