I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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