I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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