you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
