It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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