I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
