when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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