Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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