I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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