Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
