Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
