Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize