He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
