Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize