Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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