Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
