You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
