The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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