He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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