i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
