Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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