Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
