ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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