I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
