Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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