dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
