i permit you to call me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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