We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
