good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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