I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
