We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
