I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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