U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
