I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
