Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do vagina's smell?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
