I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You pole danced in your parka.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
