We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
