i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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