got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
