dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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