omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You pole danced in your parka.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
