I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
