Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
