everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
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Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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