there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
