Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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