You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
