The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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