she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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