Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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