The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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