if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
