I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Im part way to drunk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
