She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
